…Don’t annoy the wife in order to amuse yourself – it just might not end as well as you think!
To be fair I knew that today was going to be less than memorable. It started with a broken night’s sleep. After an early night on Saturday, I woke at 1.30am and so decided to grab a glass of water in the hope that I would drift gently off once again. I didn’t. So in order not to disturb my wife who was to put it mildly, sleeping soundly, I decided to get up and watch a bit of TV and see how that went in my quest for a decent night’s rest. Well, 1.30 turned into 2.30 and then into 3.30 and I was still wide awake and by now I was trying to decipher the BBC news broadcast that I’d been watching with increasing levels of amusement, frustration and then anger. Looking back it was perhaps not the best way to relax, watching politicians argue about initiatives that will affect us, but not them, but it was either that or the Shopping Channel and I didn’t really need another faux gold bracelet…
Anyway, after being up for the thick end of three hours I managed to finally get some sleep before being woken by my weekend alarm clock, or my granddaughter Bo, as she is more commonly known. Breakfast and then the weekly food shop beckoned, before deciding for reasons best kept to myself, to steam clean the kitchen floor whilst my wife — who’s a teacher — prepared for next week’s lessons.
None of this was what I had planned for today. I’d actually considered creating a new video for my YouTube channel, painting the cockpit of yet another Tamiya Mustang and then perhaps doing some research into a new 1:24 Harrier conversion that I’m planning for later in the year. Instead, I was up to my eyeballs in Aldi bags, surface wipes and chopped vegetables (did I mention that I was also preparing the evening meal), all of which added to my levels of fatigue and kept me away from the fun things that rainy Sundays are made for – modelling, music, sport and beer.
With the jobs now finished for the day and meals planned for next week, I decided to crack on with my plans, beginning with some modelling – so naturally, I made a coffee then lay on the bed and went to sleep. I woke up, watched some football and an episode of NCIS, drank another coffee, felt annoyed because I’d slept longer than I wanted to (which no-doubt opens up jokes about Snow White and Grumpy), before deciding once again, to get on with my initial plans…
By now though, I really didn’t want to do anything and then it hit me: I was bored.
Not just bored, but really bored. Really, really bored.
Boredom is an odd state of affairs because it often involves not actually wanting to do anything despite the feeling that you should. Most of the time when you say you are bored, you are fundamentally admitting to the idea that you don’t want to do anything, you have no desire to alleviate the problem and that you are going to make everyone around you miserable as a result. So I decided to annoy my wife. Subtly at first (I’m not reckless) but then in overt ways that would either make me laugh, or make her strike me with a large pointy stick. It didn’t make me laugh…
As you can imagine, this didn’t go down too well and I was greeted with some choice words, a little initial violence and then the suggestion that I should be like my friends and go build something – after all, that’s what people do when they are model makers and are bored. I didn’t like that idea at all. So I suggested that that wasn’t really what I wanted to do, deciding instead to grab a peanut butter sandwich (my default snack of choice during times of self-induced stress) and then watch some more football. But that was no more interesting, so I finally decamped to the workshop, feeling that it was safer in there than in the living room riling my wife, when she obviously had much better things to do than deal with a fifty-year-old with attention issues – a point rammed home by the threat that she would stab me in the head with a pen, if I didn’t get lost and find something more useful to do.
Having decided to take the ‘advice’ offered and visit The Shed, I turned the lights and heater on, tuned the radio into 5Live to listen to the football (look, I didn’t want to be completely disconnected from the real world…) and then stood in the middle of the floor to see if I could find some inspiration from somewhere. I then yawned — twice — looked at the Mustang on my bench, picked up the fuselage halves to see if the internal paint had dried (it had) and then noticed that the white spinner had leant against the natural metal ‘paper’ tank and thus left its presence felt in the form of an annoying white mark that would need to be touched-up. That was all it took to decide that modelling was no more interesting than lying on the bed, so I turned everything off, locked the door and walked back into the house, trying not to notice that my wife was now glaring at me as I passed by, pen in hand. I had been in The Shed for less than two minutes.
What this goes to prove, other than I need a hobby, is that for me, model making is not something that I can do when I am either tired or forced to do it through boredom. I have to be completely in the mood to either assemble a kit or paint the results and that comes from a place of clarity and relaxation, where I can in turn plan out what I need to do and enjoy the ride. Forcing the issue almost always results in models that are poorly built or roughly finished and that’s no way to pass the time away and relax.
So, I’m still bored, still lying on the bed, still watching the football and still trying not to annoy my wife who is now armed and dangerous. But at least I haven’t destroyed a perfectly good model, so maybe all is not lost!
Hmm, I wonder if I should have another sandwich?
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